Discussion in 'Taking a Break From Flooring' started by Tandy Reeves, Oct 24, 2010.
Well put Floor, and I am a Bible thumper.....
Back to the drug thing. What can a person do if their is drug use in the family or someone you know? What options are out there?
We have touched on both religion and politics (Both taboo!!!!) It is realized that both contribute to the problem in that the proper education has not been provided. Combined with the lack of accountability (you have a problem/you can't help it) things have gotten worse. As has been addressed, where does the education begin and continue? At home!!!!!! But even more than that, we are all born with a conscience. We can train this or numb it. Ultimately, we all make our own choices....for good or bad.
Just... no. email if you would like to know why.
The natural reaction is to help them. In the early stages, this may work, but the very first thing that has to happen is that the person has to want to be rid of the problem. Until that happens, nothing, I repeat nothing will help.
The only way you can force an adult into treatment is through a court order. This can be done two ways: One is when they've been charged with a drug-related offense and as part of their sentence, they go through rehabilitation. The other is to petition a court to order a person into rehab, and you have to prove that the person is not taking care of themselves physically and mentally. It can be pretty tough to do. Again, neither of those will work until the person is ready, although it may save a person that is on the verge of dying, and that's better than doing nothing.
I've seen and heard of interventions, where the family and friends of the addict confront him/her and convince him the addict to go into treatment. That may show the person that he needs help and that it's time to quit.
Above all, it's important not to give an addict the basics of life, such as food, shelter, and money. This seems cruel, but as long as those things are given to them, their energies will still be put into acquiring and using drugs. It's thought that in the absence of basic necessities, the addict will hit "rock bottom" and realize that nobody is going to enable them in their addiction. It's definitely the most hard-hitting approach. With so many people out there willing to "help" the addict, it can take a while for them to hit bottom. It takes so long because the addict will tap every resource for basic necessities, many times contacting people they haven't seen in years and even people they don't know. Until all those resources are exhausted, the addict won't turn around.
Let me tell you, it's a tough road and it take years to see the end of it.
In addition to the great information Kevin gave you, it's important to realize that it's a problem that affects more than just the addict/alcoholic. One organization that may help is Alanon.
So true. I have met a lot of addicts and alcoholics in the last 25+ years and the only ones that seem to have meaningful recovery are those who do it for themselves. As someone who worked in the field as a counselor trainee, I met quite a few people who just couldn't understand how someone couldn't quit drugs for the love of their family - or their job or whatever. Some people don't agree that addiction is a disease, but I do and so does the American Medical Association (and most other medical associations around the world). It can't be cured with love or caring. It requires treatment and, in most cases, there is no pill or operation that cures it. And many people, like me, belive there is no cure, only remission. Mine has lasted over 25 years and I go a day at a time realizing if sobriety is my highest priority in life, I will not have a relapse.
I believe in this method (among others). In meetings I go to, we call them "official card carrying members." Even though I believe also that it's not possible for someone to achieve long-term sobriety until that is their own priority, I think they get closer to realizing their life will only get worse if they don't. For some, it takes several interventions. For others, it never takes hold. You also mentioned family/friends intervening. I've been involved in a few of those over the years and they do help. Many times it's short-lived, but it does plant a seed. I think it's important to conduct one with the help of a substance abuse professional though.
This may be the most difficult thing for family and friends to do. But like you said, it is very important. Enabling the addict to continue their course of self-destruction is what it is. Most of us, speaking in remembrance of my active addict days, believe we can lose just about anything as long as we can find a couch to crash on and a refrigerator to raid. Our priorities lie in getting and using drugs. We wouldn't admit it to anyone's face, but the fact is, we want drugs more than anything else. Anything.
Actually, the bottom hits them. One day I was your normal every day flooring installer making decent money, the next I was trying hard to die. I hadn't lost everything. Yes, I met many who had. And I met others who seemed to have even better lives than me - had happy marriages, adoring children, productive jobs and some who were idolized by many. I've come to know rich and poor, famous and infamous, business executives, unemployed welfare cases, men, women, children. People from every socioeconomic status. Drug addiction is equal opportunity.
You cannot use force to change the human mind. That builds resentment and you may never get someone off a habit.
They have to see the damage and change it all in their own minds to fix it, or destroy themselves.
Harping on and hammering a user, does just the opposite, too. "Don't tell me what to do"
There is a fine line, how you act and correspond, to get a positive push to get help, or are determined to go cold turkey.
My sister was a Meth addict, from the late 70's through the 80's and into the early 90's. No one forced her to quit. No forced rehab. She got sober sitting in jail, thinking about her life and where she was sitting. She could have went back to that life, easy.
Never touched it since and she was the head chef. The cook.
Now her alcohol problem... There needs to be a breathalyzer / alcohol sensor, built in as safety equipment in all vehicles, or it won't start!
That's "drug substitution." I know a lot of addicts that don't understand that problem. Alcohol IS a drug. I hope your sister learns that before it's too late.
Hi Guys, reading these posts you all have valid points however no one has touched on the chemical make up of ones brain. Depression is rife in my family and drug and alcohol addiction is a great escape. I have lost family and friends to suicide and seen one of my closes cousins end up in a asylum. In all of these people there was one thing they all had in common from a very young age, there behaviour and personallities were very similar, happy one day really sad the next with no explanation.
I dabbled in drugs recreationally for about ten years but a major head injury put stop to the drug use but not the alcohol. I have struggled with my own alcohol demons and have recently learnt a lot about myself and why I turned to alcohol thanks to an awesome person who was meant to be my business mentor and ended up being my life coach.
There are many reasons people turn to drugs and I'll think you will find many of them are carrying emotional baggage they cant process and work through. There is no education for parents or in our schools to teach us how to handle life, rejection, abuse etc and for many trying to process how these things affect and change how we feel about things happening in our lives is really hard work.
This is a hard to expalin but our brains release chemicals as we react to situations, these chemicals help or hinder our emotions. Like the example of Speeding in a car and how it makes us feel giddy in the tummy etc. Some of us are wired differently and our brains release a different set of chemicals and therefore we may not get the giddy feeling at all.
I have worked with many addicts and most of them used drugs and alcohol as an escape of their emotions. It makes them feel alive, free from pain, free from memories and in most cases they all say it made me feel normal.
Drug abuse is a really complex issue and it is easy to say "cant they see what it is doing to them" the simple answer is not in the begining.
My parents gave me the best morals and values, I have never stolen from or hurt another human being and I treat others as I would like them to treat me. However I had my own inner demons and drugs were a way to numb the pain and stop the thoughts and flashbacks.
In a lot of cases a persons upbringing can be to blame as there are a lot of bad parents out there but in many cases the parents are outstanding and it comes down to a persons chemical make up.
FYI thank you for your thoughts and experiences. The Salvation Army here has a Day Camp each summer for the men and women in rehab. They ask me to put on a seminar for two or three hours on fishing.
I would bring along eight or ten of my bass rods and reels. I would show them how to set up the equipment, how to cast, how to tie different knots, and flipping for pinpoint casting. After the session many had questions and wanted to use the equipment to try what I had taught. They nearly all had stories how when they lived in the good times they would fish with family or good friends.
One man in particular came to me and ask if he could take a rod and reel to the creek and see if he could catch a fish. I guess it was about an hour later he came back very proud of a 3 pound bass he had caught. He was so happy to show his friends what he had done and the battle he fought to catch the fish. He then came to me with tears running down his cheeks and said at one time in his life he had things like this and gave it all up for drugs and one of these days he would be clean and living the good life again.
I never heard from him again, and he was not at the camp the next two years. My hope and prayers are that he did rid himself of the demons and is living the good life and catching a lot of fish.